Nobody likes networking. It is a fact. I have yet to meet a single person who says, “You know what, I just LOVE working the room! All these people I don’t know, so many faces, so little time, let’s DO THIS.”
More likely it’s, “I hate these events… they don’t work… I’ve never gotten a single job from networking… can we leave now…” (that last one is usually me).
As a newbie/new entrant/recent graduate you’ve no credits, no evidence and no confidence. A nervous bag of sweat. It’s tough, no lie. All you can rely on is the talk. And attempting to ignore the looks of the person you’re attempting to schmooze… over your shoulder – at the rest of the room, working out where their next target is.
So I propose an alternative – a manifesto for Un-Networking.
1. I will not expect to make a single long term relationship (non-attachment – classic Buddhist strategy)
2. I will ask questions and listen (no need to ‘sell’ oneself – really lets you off the hook)
3. If asked what I do, my answer will be short and sweet and rehearsed… and then I’ll ask another question
4. I will not, under any circumstances, look over the shoulder at the other attendees when the person I’m with is talking (common decency)
5. I will not berate myself for talking only to people I know (solidifying current working relationships is never a bad strategy)
6. I will have business cards ready-to-hand (so there’s none of this delving around into the bottomless pit that is your handbag/laptop bag/briefcase/Mary Poppin’s bag)
7. I will have some form of online presence that potential business partners/clients/customers will be able to get more detailed information from in their own time (again, saves the sales-pitchery. no-one likes the sales-pitchery. yawnsville).
8. I will be excited about my work and what I want to do (when asked about it). I will not be self-deprecating (modesty is good, putting oneself down is needy).
9. I will try to connect other people that I think would be valuable to each other (get known as helpful. so people will approach you voluntarily in future. without the desperate self-sell).
10. I will be exceedingly nice to the barstaff (they want to be there less than you do).
There are plenty more guidelines I think, but these are a good start. In summary, don’t be so hard on yourself. Follow this format and you might actually enjoy yourself.
Photo by Filip Bunkens on Unsplash