You know how it feels to send off the final draft, don’t you? I always forget.
Leading up to it, I always think of how celebratory and different I’ll feel. How much lighter, but also how accomplished and even… reliable? I feel reliable in a really solid, content way. As if I set out to do a thing, a challenging thing, by a certain date, and I met that challenge by the date.
But the reality of sending off the final draft is always a little anti-climactic, and I always seem to forget.
I do feel mostly accomplished – the challenge was met and the project’s music was delivered by the agreed date.
I do feel somewhat content – this task was completed and ticked off the to-do list.
But I also feel… a bit… hmm. This is hard to describe. I think it might be a loss of purpose. I had a purpose, I completed it, and now I’m without that specific purpose. And further, there’s a kind of loss of identity. I was the composer for this project, but I’m not anymore.
It’s such an odd combination of feelings, it’s the same every time, and each time I approach the delivery of that final draft, I always, always forget.
And yet… final draft sent! Wahoo! Let’s get takeaway vegan pizza and drink mocktails. 🎉