Ah, the blank page. The start of a project.
It’s hideous.
Totally over the excitement of being offered the project, accepting, signing on the dotted line… I find myself here. Again.
So much potential – for both fabulousness, and failure.
Sometimes you just have to make a start no matter what. It is sooooo much easier to keep going once that first move has been made.
Easier said than done, though, right? (We’ve all been there.)
I wonder why we put so much pressure on ourselves, why we care so much, for the first draft to be so good? If it’s complete arse then at least no-one else needs to hear it.
I’ve got a real bugbear about wasting time though, about not using my time in the most efficient way possible. Sometimes I find it incredibly difficult to start a project without getting all my ducks in a row, all the salient information to hand, all the questions answered by relevant collaborating creatives, scripts printed, cues plotted, holes punches and binders clicked shut, before I even write a note. I feel like the music I write won’t be the most appropriate I can make it. The best fit for the job. And then I’ll have wasted time down the line on re-writes that could be spent on other cues… and so the creative angst mind-games continue.
But if I’m honest the fun lies in the experimentation. Allowing it to be utter crapola also allows it to be (potentially) unusually good.
Yin and Yang.
So, I make a deal with myself (yes, can be a little schizo, we all know that now): I am allowed to fail. I allow the first notes to be dire. I allow myself to lack inspiration. I say ‘f**k it’ and decide to not care a jot what happens to this next ditty I’ll create.
Just. Start.
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This is all just a thought I had as I printed out the first draft of the first piece I’d sketched for the next big Slung Low project, Mapping The City. The tune turned out ok actually (it’s the one in the pic above). Always easier to understand this creative angst in hindsight.
Well said Heather. I have only a little insight into creative angst, but I am certain that what you create is worth it in the end. Well, at least I appreciate it, Iike your music.
While incurring a major bout of Creative Angst, I reasoned with myself and started to write a song called, “Don’t forget to begin”. I hope it will hit a note with all the dreamers and procrastinators of the world. I agree that pressure is often something we place on ourself, sometimes with a debilitating effect. Fear of Failure is where it seems to stem from for myself….. I have to actually give myself permission to write crap just to start the process, once something is actually started every things flows much easier. Just stumbled across your Blog Heather…Fantastic!